Saturday, September 17, 2011

If They Played Eve

Pride and Prejudice and Spaceships, by Jane Austen
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a faction fit, tech II rigged, Macherial.” 

The War and Peace of Pirates, by Leo Tolstoy
"Seize the moments of pvp, kill and be killed! That is the only reality in the universe, all else is folly."

The Odyssey Through Nullsec, By Homer

"I took the victims, over the gates I cut their throats
And the dark blood flowed in--and up out of Erebus they came,
flocking toward me now, the ghosts of the dead and gone ...
Brides and unwed youths and old men who had suffered much
And girls with their tender hearts freshly scarred by sorrow
And great fleets of battle dead, shot by raging projectiles,
men of war still wrapped in bloody wreckage--thousands
swarming around the gates from every side--
unearthly cries--blanching terror gripped me!"

A Tale of Two Alliances, By Charles Dickens
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of pvp, it was the age of mining, it was the epoch of titans, it was the epoch of super carriers..."

Beowulf, the Pirate
"The dread and awesome foe
suffered sharp distress: on his hull
appeared a vast explosion, bulwarks parted,
armor plates pulled from reactors. To Beowulf
glory had been given; and Grendel,
death-blown, had to flee through the fen-slopes gates
to his joyless lair in high-sec."

Romeo and Juliet in Faction War, by William Shakespeare

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy faction and refuse the Republic.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I'll no longer be an Amarrian."

Far from the Madding Crowd in Local Chat, By Thomas Hardy
"The instinctive act of humankind was to sit and read, and learn how the scammers on the right and the scammers on the left wailed or chanted to each other in the regular antiphonies of a cathedral choir…"

The Three Musketeers Go Blobbing, by Alexandre Dumas
“All against one, and one against all!”

The Raven in a Mission, By Edgar Allan Poe
"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I missioned, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious storyline of unread lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a flashing
As of someone gently bashing, bashing at my vessel’s core.
“Tis some pirate” I muttered, “bashing at my vessel’s core.”
Only this, and nothing more."