Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Vote for Hans, Save the Pirates

Hans Jagerblitzen dropped below -5.0 today.
Welcome to the dark side.


  1. The opening I was thinking was a weird mix between a DS9 sorta theme and Independence Day. The middle had me singing We Are The World.
    End? Obvious generic political anthem is obvious.

    As for the content: it reads like a manifesto to separate and segregate the 3 "sec areas" -- hisec for the mission-, mining-, and incursion-bears, lowsec for FIGHT CLUB, and nullsec for "blobby fights, politics, and dramatic bullshit".

    Ironically I see a lot of low-sec and null-sec dwellers blasting hisec bears for "I just want to be left alone to play the game MY WAY in peace," type-statements (I know, I'm one of them, MWDing in with my Enyo neutron-blasting away), yet...that's pretty much exactly what this is doing itself.
    "We just want to fight and kill each other in peace and without the blobs and bullshit..."

    The problem with blobs and bullshit is one of psychological mechanics, not game ones. You can twist, tweak, and turn game mechanics every which way, but as long as "bigger and moar is better and always wins", you'll see blobs, you'll see supercap proliferation, because people want to WIN.

    Yes there are some "good PvP FCs" who will stay their hand and not batphone everybody and their brother so they can have a "gf" instead of a "SKULL-CRUSHING ROFLSTOMPFEST!" (Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Kids admission is FREE!), but realistically, when the objective is "WIN!!" or "get moar kills!!!" then yes, blobs will rule the day.

    In conclusion: drink BRAWNDO, the Thirst MUTILATOR. It makes you WIN at things you wouldn't normally WIN at, like YELLING, or ARGUING on the INTERNET!!!

    1. Gal, here's the short-bus version for ya bro:
      Piwates h8 on bearz cuz bearz jus wann' be left alone n safe in hisec.
      Piwates say "hey blob-guy nullseccers, just leave us alone n safe from ur blobs in lowsec."
      ^^ irony ensues, hilarity does not.

  2. I'm just not sure I can vote for someone who is both in aa and has averaged around 10 kills a month for the last 9 months

  3. Woah, I didn't notice that, but verified it on BattleClinic! Is Hans then yet another CSM candidate who really doesn't play Eve very much?

    Also, Lowsec isn't Fight Club...Syndicate is Fight Club.